Giving you an example here, being raised in an Asian family, it is annoying to go back to a family gathering sometimes because there are always these few relatives who are being so 'kiasu' (always waiting to fight for first), asking around about your results and how you perform in school if they have children who are still studying or have people already found an excellent partner if they are in their adulthood and it is the time to set into another phase of life. It is annoying, isn't it? I doubt if this happens in the west, or where is this culture coming from and stays in the bone of all the Asian aunties (we call everyone else on the street aunty and uncle).
I have a lovely family from my mother side who we always keep in touch with, who I will automatically update them about my daily life and milestones. I feel that they really care about me. Moreover, things get a bit different for the father side. We seldom get in touch with each other and therefore the bond between us are weak, weak enough for me not to have a chat with them till the day I go back to their house and still do not know how to roll on a conversation. There are always awkward moments. They are very selfish in my eyes. Especially when coming to their children's result, very 'kiasu' of them. I knew where I stand and I know I have achieved some things which make my parents proud enough to announce it in front of them, nonetheless, I will just keep quiet when they proudly showing off to me how good their children are in school, which always seems to be normal for me. I am not being arrogant but what they have done get on my nerves. Deep down in me I knew what we have done are much more than them, but I am too tired to explain everything; it is just way too much when I want to get the story start.
Sharing joys to others was a kind of happiness, but when it goes over the line, things will just turn out bad. Know where is the limit, because there is always a boundary between people. At the end of the day, you will choose to keep everything to yourself, because when it starts to flow to others people's mouth, the story will alter a bit, anyway how. Not being selfish this time but to save us the hustle, the energy used up for the unnecessary competitions and arguments. You know the best where you are standing, have faith in yourself and not depending your life on their words, it is all bullshit, defining yourself by your own word and write a good story out of that.
Monday, 29 May 2017
Sunday, 21 May 2017
Second.
Submitted my design portfolio, technology and environment assignment and writing portfolio last Friday which symbolised the freedom for an architecture student who has been trapped in the studio for the last nine months. I saw the shadow of home, again.
The second year was not a tough one for me; but I have learnt a lot frankly, from my peers, and the tutors. I have been falling down and stood up beautifully, have been lost confidence to myself and then gain it back slowly, have been wonder about am I excellent enough to handle this, have been judging myself if I am hardworking enough to be an architecture student. A lot of things float on the surface and I knew myself more from there. Obstacles along the way cheer me up to be a better one, the grades which never reached my expectation pushed me to put more efforts in what I was doing.
I love the vibrant of the class because everyone was in a good position and create a positive competition among us. The range of creativity found within us have encouraged me to think out of the box more frequently, compare to when I am studying in the first year or back home. I shall say I think more like a westerner now, more critical thinking happening in the brain and more opinions on others' works. It was a great improvement though.
The ending of the second year continues with the four months of summer break. Full of plans. Internship, voluntary works, catching up with friends, have a great dinner with family...and some time for myself. Lecturer wants us to read more, sketch more and think more to prepare ourselves for the third year. Wow, the third year sounds scary for me, it might be a comma for my study life; I want it to be an outstanding one.
Still remember September 2015, I was still so new to the studio and lost myself in the architecture terms. And now, I manage to function Rhinoceros (a design software) pretty well and understand what is the meaning of massing study and facade. Cheers to the second year and I am on my way to prepare myself to graduate with a first.
The second year was not a tough one for me; but I have learnt a lot frankly, from my peers, and the tutors. I have been falling down and stood up beautifully, have been lost confidence to myself and then gain it back slowly, have been wonder about am I excellent enough to handle this, have been judging myself if I am hardworking enough to be an architecture student. A lot of things float on the surface and I knew myself more from there. Obstacles along the way cheer me up to be a better one, the grades which never reached my expectation pushed me to put more efforts in what I was doing.
I love the vibrant of the class because everyone was in a good position and create a positive competition among us. The range of creativity found within us have encouraged me to think out of the box more frequently, compare to when I am studying in the first year or back home. I shall say I think more like a westerner now, more critical thinking happening in the brain and more opinions on others' works. It was a great improvement though.
The ending of the second year continues with the four months of summer break. Full of plans. Internship, voluntary works, catching up with friends, have a great dinner with family...and some time for myself. Lecturer wants us to read more, sketch more and think more to prepare ourselves for the third year. Wow, the third year sounds scary for me, it might be a comma for my study life; I want it to be an outstanding one.
Still remember September 2015, I was still so new to the studio and lost myself in the architecture terms. And now, I manage to function Rhinoceros (a design software) pretty well and understand what is the meaning of massing study and facade. Cheers to the second year and I am on my way to prepare myself to graduate with a first.
Studio Portfolio (Stair and AirBnB design)
Technology and Environment assignment
(comparing Lyric theatre Belfast and Queen's Film Theatre Belfast)
signed off,
second-year Michelle.
Friday, 5 May 2017
In your twenties
From the previous post, I have mentioned I am heading to a backpack solo trip to Netherland and Germany. And, yes, I have survived that and returned to the UK with tons of memories and life worth experience. There're pros and cons for a girl to travel alone. Nonetheless, the benefits will definitely overweight the shortcomings. I met a lot of people who help me along my way, who thank you weren't enough to show my gratitude towards them.
You already have the skills to survive. Believe that god has already implanted something in you. It was an infinite thing and waiting for you to explore it. Knowledge of technology will be extremely helpful and I have assumed the younger generation definitely familiar with the technology, even the basic one will help. Applications like Travel Sygic, Google Trip, Google Map, you name it, were something easy enough to access and get a hand on it. What you need to do is to do some researches before you go, or even just get a map when you arrive at the destination and go intuitively. "Hi, hello, can you help me, thank you" were the universal words which yet a non-english speaker will understand you. If things get worst, sign language will positively work as well.
Therefore, there is no reason for you not to go on a solo trip, even once in the lifetime is great enough. Don't say those who travel are rich, they just choose to spend their money on travel instead of buying an LV bag. They might simply choose to use up they entire saving to exchange with a chance to step into their dreamland. Everyone's meaning of life is different, define yours wisely from today, and ultimately, write an eye-catching definition to the world when they day you leave.
At least, I have ticked off an important point in my bucket list - to travel alone in Europe for a week in my twenties.
I will point out a few great things about having solo traveling when you are in your twenties.
Your body condition was at its peak point. You own the biggest asset of travel, your legs, and eyes. Fully utilise them when they are still able to. Don't complain about how far you are going to travel by foot throughout the day; in return, you will appreciate every step that you have gone through to the amazing sceneries. The process was the one which celebrates the joy at the end of the day. Keep taking photos with your camera was a way of remembering the journey, but don't forget to witness the breath-taking view with your own eyes, which is priceless. Camera capture the moments mechanically, eyes capture them emotionally. So, take good care of your body, because it will be the only things that accompany you for these few decades.
You are still in the stage to explore. Like a baby, you are still new to the society. You are interested in everything that you see, you want to explore it, give it a go. "Those moments you regret is those which you never try." With an acceptable range, go and try out things, get out of your box. If you never go to a pub before this, put on your party dress and have a hang out with your friends, take a sip of the cocktail, and dance with the rhythm of the music. Don't be afraid to blend yourself in the atmosphere. When you are traveling, it is the best time to understand the culture of a city. Thus, why no to just step forward to have a small chat with the locals. Believe me, they are happy to share with you their city. I met a dutch lady when I am traveling in Amsterdam, I requested her to take a photo of mine with the canal. She was with her bike. Of course, she offered me to take a photo with the canal and her bike and tell me the story of the trees along the canal. Then give me some travel tips.We have a ten minutes chat and then she left to her home. Traveling alone, you need a little bit of courageous.
You still have the time to do so. My parents portrait a typical working life, they have shown me how hard to achieve the position that they are standing now. The time and dedication they spend towards working were far from what I can imagine. Mum always told me, "go to have a look at the world when you have the time, I (mum) do not even have time to go to the cafe nearby and enjoy a carefree afternoon tea." "Those who do not travel read only a page of the book." Time - the biggest enemy for everyone, it will never stop tickling because you are slowing down.
You still have the time to do so. My parents portrait a typical working life, they have shown me how hard to achieve the position that they are standing now. The time and dedication they spend towards working were far from what I can imagine. Mum always told me, "go to have a look at the world when you have the time, I (mum) do not even have time to go to the cafe nearby and enjoy a carefree afternoon tea." "Those who do not travel read only a page of the book." Time - the biggest enemy for everyone, it will never stop tickling because you are slowing down.
You already have the skills to survive. Believe that god has already implanted something in you. It was an infinite thing and waiting for you to explore it. Knowledge of technology will be extremely helpful and I have assumed the younger generation definitely familiar with the technology, even the basic one will help. Applications like Travel Sygic, Google Trip, Google Map, you name it, were something easy enough to access and get a hand on it. What you need to do is to do some researches before you go, or even just get a map when you arrive at the destination and go intuitively. "Hi, hello, can you help me, thank you" were the universal words which yet a non-english speaker will understand you. If things get worst, sign language will positively work as well.
Therefore, there is no reason for you not to go on a solo trip, even once in the lifetime is great enough. Don't say those who travel are rich, they just choose to spend their money on travel instead of buying an LV bag. They might simply choose to use up they entire saving to exchange with a chance to step into their dreamland. Everyone's meaning of life is different, define yours wisely from today, and ultimately, write an eye-catching definition to the world when they day you leave.
At least, I have ticked off an important point in my bucket list - to travel alone in Europe for a week in my twenties.
Thursday, 13 April 2017
To experience, to explore
For you who are also studying or working aboard.
"It supposed to be hard because by that no one can replicate it." A quote that I noted down from a short video from facebook.
It has been a while since I last update myself. I am back to the UK to continue my year 2 study and it is almost an end with the finish of my semester 2 project. Just to rant a little here, I doubt myself a lot sometime, I lost confidence in myself, I wonder the hard work that I have done; will it gets payback? Anyway, I believe that God had arranged everything and will give us the chance if you tried, maybe not now, but someday.
Done with the updating part. Let's talk about the courage to explore life today. I have bought a flight ticket to Amsterdam and Cologne, departing next week - a backpack solo trip. I will say this is hard for me because backpacking in Europe countries alone is not that safe after all. There were plenty of bad news that bombarding the social media nowadays. Nonetheless, it never kills my intention to go out and explore the world, by myself. Always wanting to cross the "solo backpack trip" in my to-do-list and I knew that the 20-year old me can already do that. Parents are worried about this so much as they keep telling me to find a partner for the trip, but daddy mummy, I just want to go all out alone to know how far I can go without the help of others, to experience the feeling that I have not got a chance to do so, to have a stroll with my soul. I am good to go now, from booking a hostel to planning the schedules of the trips; I have done enough of preparation and ready to grab my backpack and have a try with it. A lot of my friends are telling me it is not a good choice to travel in the city of drugs, sex and bicycle. But I will then update them with the wonderful experience and people I meet there after next week.
Nothing to worry, let me go. I may seem to be like a girl who cannot take care of myself when I am around you, but you never know what I have done throughout this two years for me to survive in this country which is a totally new place for me at first. The courage and faith that God have implanted in me are infinite. Even I need to explore and fully utilise them, how can you judge me then?
"A person who never travel only read one page." A very classic quote that I have been holding on. In each of the trips, I learnt a lot, communicating with my travel companions, asking for help with the locals, bookings for good accommodation deals, reading a map......a lot a lot, which you may not have the chance to experience if you are still staying in your comfort zone. My mum always tells me, go if you still have the chance to do so. I am thankful for my parents, who are always in the same boat with me no matter what I did, where I go, and with their supports, I can go even further.
Two years in the UK, travelling around seven cities, and the eighth solo trip coming soon. The excitement in me is flooding up the fear. I have to say that I have so used to doing things alone when I start studying aboard. It is not the matter of how many friends I have here, it just can't come to a deal after all, and what I need to do is to go ahead by myself, because my idea is too difficult for them to handle sometime, or is just me.
Anyway, do it when you are still able to. Because after all, it is all for the pride of yourself. Don't let regrets hit you hard later on, twenty-year-old can be a fantasy age which everything is still unsure and you can still give it a try and fail.
Michelle.
"It supposed to be hard because by that no one can replicate it." A quote that I noted down from a short video from facebook.
It has been a while since I last update myself. I am back to the UK to continue my year 2 study and it is almost an end with the finish of my semester 2 project. Just to rant a little here, I doubt myself a lot sometime, I lost confidence in myself, I wonder the hard work that I have done; will it gets payback? Anyway, I believe that God had arranged everything and will give us the chance if you tried, maybe not now, but someday.
Done with the updating part. Let's talk about the courage to explore life today. I have bought a flight ticket to Amsterdam and Cologne, departing next week - a backpack solo trip. I will say this is hard for me because backpacking in Europe countries alone is not that safe after all. There were plenty of bad news that bombarding the social media nowadays. Nonetheless, it never kills my intention to go out and explore the world, by myself. Always wanting to cross the "solo backpack trip" in my to-do-list and I knew that the 20-year old me can already do that. Parents are worried about this so much as they keep telling me to find a partner for the trip, but daddy mummy, I just want to go all out alone to know how far I can go without the help of others, to experience the feeling that I have not got a chance to do so, to have a stroll with my soul. I am good to go now, from booking a hostel to planning the schedules of the trips; I have done enough of preparation and ready to grab my backpack and have a try with it. A lot of my friends are telling me it is not a good choice to travel in the city of drugs, sex and bicycle. But I will then update them with the wonderful experience and people I meet there after next week.
Nothing to worry, let me go. I may seem to be like a girl who cannot take care of myself when I am around you, but you never know what I have done throughout this two years for me to survive in this country which is a totally new place for me at first. The courage and faith that God have implanted in me are infinite. Even I need to explore and fully utilise them, how can you judge me then?
"A person who never travel only read one page." A very classic quote that I have been holding on. In each of the trips, I learnt a lot, communicating with my travel companions, asking for help with the locals, bookings for good accommodation deals, reading a map......a lot a lot, which you may not have the chance to experience if you are still staying in your comfort zone. My mum always tells me, go if you still have the chance to do so. I am thankful for my parents, who are always in the same boat with me no matter what I did, where I go, and with their supports, I can go even further.
Two years in the UK, travelling around seven cities, and the eighth solo trip coming soon. The excitement in me is flooding up the fear. I have to say that I have so used to doing things alone when I start studying aboard. It is not the matter of how many friends I have here, it just can't come to a deal after all, and what I need to do is to go ahead by myself, because my idea is too difficult for them to handle sometime, or is just me.
Anyway, do it when you are still able to. Because after all, it is all for the pride of yourself. Don't let regrets hit you hard later on, twenty-year-old can be a fantasy age which everything is still unsure and you can still give it a try and fail.
Michelle.
Friday, 13 January 2017
Dearest best friend
Hello Liew Lee Mei,
It has been a long time since I last update my blog and this is a post that I suppose to write when the time we last meet up.
Still remember it's 22 September 2016. It's 2017 now. You are officially 21.
The memories still so clear in my mind, all the things that we did together during that Thursday, from the minute you reach my house till the second you drove away from my gate. I hope time will just stop at there and doubt why God want to arrange two people from such a far place to intersect together and become the good friend at the end. Thanks for coming all the way from KL to here although you know that your mum will be angry when the time she knew you drove so far. Thanks for accompanying me to the place I like the most back to hometown before the day I go back to the UK. Thanks for bearing with me when I drove into the wrong path to the beach although I drove to the place up to thousands time, but we have lots of fun on the car right? Actually, I cherish the time so much because we rarely own the time to sit down like this and have a great chat about how are we doing now. Thanks for going to the restaurant I love the most. Thanks for everything happening on that day. You know what I meant. Please, come here again if you have the time and the day when your mum allows you to drive this far. I am looking for more of our adventures no matter in Malaysia or all over to UK or Europe. I am always ready to go to the world with you because I knew at the end, you will still be by my side. 謝謝你好朋友， 希望很快就能見到你。
6th January 2017.
You were turning 21 and again I did not have a chance to celebrate with you. Haha but the WhatsApp call consider one? I have a shock when all of your friends actually knew who I am when the time I call you. And then I knew how important I am. (awhh) I don't actually help you to celebrate your birthday before beside the one when you are 19. Hopefully, your friends have given you a memorable birthday! Sincerely hope that I can invite you to my 21 birthday this year and you will be there. Happy 21th once again, liew lee mei. Thanks your mum for bringing you to this world and then become my best friend.
See you real soon?
Michelle.
It has been a long time since I last update my blog and this is a post that I suppose to write when the time we last meet up.
Still remember it's 22 September 2016. It's 2017 now. You are officially 21.
The memories still so clear in my mind, all the things that we did together during that Thursday, from the minute you reach my house till the second you drove away from my gate. I hope time will just stop at there and doubt why God want to arrange two people from such a far place to intersect together and become the good friend at the end. Thanks for coming all the way from KL to here although you know that your mum will be angry when the time she knew you drove so far. Thanks for accompanying me to the place I like the most back to hometown before the day I go back to the UK. Thanks for bearing with me when I drove into the wrong path to the beach although I drove to the place up to thousands time, but we have lots of fun on the car right? Actually, I cherish the time so much because we rarely own the time to sit down like this and have a great chat about how are we doing now. Thanks for going to the restaurant I love the most. Thanks for everything happening on that day. You know what I meant. Please, come here again if you have the time and the day when your mum allows you to drive this far. I am looking for more of our adventures no matter in Malaysia or all over to UK or Europe. I am always ready to go to the world with you because I knew at the end, you will still be by my side. 謝謝你好朋友， 希望很快就能見到你。
6th January 2017.
You were turning 21 and again I did not have a chance to celebrate with you. Haha but the WhatsApp call consider one? I have a shock when all of your friends actually knew who I am when the time I call you. And then I knew how important I am. (awhh) I don't actually help you to celebrate your birthday before beside the one when you are 19. Hopefully, your friends have given you a memorable birthday! Sincerely hope that I can invite you to my 21 birthday this year and you will be there. Happy 21th once again, liew lee mei. Thanks your mum for bringing you to this world and then become my best friend.
See you real soon?
Michelle.
Thursday, 8 September 2016
Growing up
Do you realize that you are already 20 years old this year? Do you even realise when you have stepped into another zone? The zone where filled with booms and you might get trap just after you step out.
Growing up, meaning that responsibility that placed on your shoulder become heavier. It does mean that you only need to responsible for your own meal, what time you shall go to bath, or what time you shall hang out with you friends. It is about your responsibility for your own future, even family. Now, it's time to really sit down and think about what can you do for your future so that you will not regret on that day when you look back or when you want to tell your little boy about your youth. It means that you shall now solve more life trouble by yourself, learning not to count on parents so much, although they're always there for you. But did you feel that it's enough for them to worry about us and enjoy what they suppose to have for now?
Eh, Michelle, I think it's time to find a part-time job to earn some pounds, a good intern to gain some valuable experiences for your own future, read a good book that can change your mind and go for a solo travel so that you can know what's deep inside yourself. Right?
Growing up, meaning that responsibility that placed on your shoulder become heavier. It does mean that you only need to responsible for your own meal, what time you shall go to bath, or what time you shall hang out with you friends. It is about your responsibility for your own future, even family. Now, it's time to really sit down and think about what can you do for your future so that you will not regret on that day when you look back or when you want to tell your little boy about your youth. It means that you shall now solve more life trouble by yourself, learning not to count on parents so much, although they're always there for you. But did you feel that it's enough for them to worry about us and enjoy what they suppose to have for now?
Eh, Michelle, I think it's time to find a part-time job to earn some pounds, a good intern to gain some valuable experiences for your own future, read a good book that can change your mind and go for a solo travel so that you can know what's deep inside yourself. Right?
Thursday, 11 August 2016
Good old day
How you define friend/best friend?
Little kids might tell you those who give them a sweet are their best friend. A primary school kid will claim those who stick together with them during the recess time as their best friend forever. A high school student might start to realize what true meaning of friendship is and start to develop the branches of the ship. They believe that whom who tell them all their secrets or spend most of their time with as their best friend. Yes, I will say a true friendship blossom at this moment, where you kind of know what the shape of the world is but you still in your own fairytale. This was the time when your friends know all your bad sides and still stay along side with you, this was the time when you spend most of your time having tuition classes and foods together with that gang of friends. Once you enter college, you start to realize how cruel this society meant to be and what was benefits all about. People start to approach you for different reasons, no longer only because they want to have a simple meal with you. You start to doubt what the word friend really meant about and started to miss the naive gang who you can contribute your laughter with.
I have a story to tell. I have this group of friends who stay aside with me from primary school to high school. Although there are some reasons that make us separate apart in between, we still manage to keep in touch until today. I am glad that I own this group of friends who I manage to sit down together and have a great dinner time with until now even though I have come back from Uk after a year and we didn't actually spend much time together. What I want to emphasis here was the invisible bond between us. We didn't stick together much after high school, we didn't reply to each other facebook picture this often. But I believe that we do stalk each other snapchat or Instagram a bit to update where are we know. I will not say that this is the perfect friendship that YOU guys shall look for, but I thank God for giving me this group of people in my life, who will come out to meet you if you call them, without a single reason but just to meet up.
Dear friends, we are now in the different field, different state, perhaps different country, persuading our own dream, but I hope that years after this, we still manage to come out and sit down in a roundtable, without anyone missing out, to tell our own story.
I never tell you guys how grateful I am to have you in my life, never even showcase a single photo of us in social media. Nevertheless, I am blessed, to have you guys as my friends, forever. Trust me, you guys are that group of people I will look back when I grow older. Those good old days will be the reason why we will still stick together after years, promise?
朋友，还是老的好
Little kids might tell you those who give them a sweet are their best friend. A primary school kid will claim those who stick together with them during the recess time as their best friend forever. A high school student might start to realize what true meaning of friendship is and start to develop the branches of the ship. They believe that whom who tell them all their secrets or spend most of their time with as their best friend. Yes, I will say a true friendship blossom at this moment, where you kind of know what the shape of the world is but you still in your own fairytale. This was the time when your friends know all your bad sides and still stay along side with you, this was the time when you spend most of your time having tuition classes and foods together with that gang of friends. Once you enter college, you start to realize how cruel this society meant to be and what was benefits all about. People start to approach you for different reasons, no longer only because they want to have a simple meal with you. You start to doubt what the word friend really meant about and started to miss the naive gang who you can contribute your laughter with.
I have a story to tell. I have this group of friends who stay aside with me from primary school to high school. Although there are some reasons that make us separate apart in between, we still manage to keep in touch until today. I am glad that I own this group of friends who I manage to sit down together and have a great dinner time with until now even though I have come back from Uk after a year and we didn't actually spend much time together. What I want to emphasis here was the invisible bond between us. We didn't stick together much after high school, we didn't reply to each other facebook picture this often. But I believe that we do stalk each other snapchat or Instagram a bit to update where are we know. I will not say that this is the perfect friendship that YOU guys shall look for, but I thank God for giving me this group of people in my life, who will come out to meet you if you call them, without a single reason but just to meet up.
Dear friends, we are now in the different field, different state, perhaps different country, persuading our own dream, but I hope that years after this, we still manage to come out and sit down in a roundtable, without anyone missing out, to tell our own story.
I never tell you guys how grateful I am to have you in my life, never even showcase a single photo of us in social media. Nevertheless, I am blessed, to have you guys as my friends, forever. Trust me, you guys are that group of people I will look back when I grow older. Those good old days will be the reason why we will still stick together after years, promise?
朋友，还是老的好
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