For yourself, to yourself

Giving you an example here, being raised in an Asian family, it is annoying to go back to a family gathering sometimes because there are always these few relatives who are being so 'kiasu' (always waiting to fight for first), asking around about your results and how you perform in school if they have children who are still studying or have people already found an excellent partner if they are in their adulthood and it is the time to set into another phase of life. It is annoying, isn't it? I doubt if this happens in the west, or where is this culture coming from and stays in the bone of all the Asian aunties (we call everyone else on the street aunty and uncle).

I have a lovely family from my mother side who we always keep in touch with, who I will automatically update them about my daily life and milestones. I feel that they really care about me. Moreover, things get a bit different for the father side. We seldom get in touch with each other and therefore the bond between us are weak, weak enough for me not to have a chat with them till the day I go back to their house and still do not know how to roll on a conversation. There are always awkward moments. They are very selfish in my eyes. Especially when coming to their children's result, very 'kiasu' of them. I knew where I stand and I know I have achieved some things which make my parents proud enough to announce it in front of them, nonetheless, I will just keep quiet when they proudly showing off to me how good their children are in school, which always seems to be normal for me. I am not being arrogant but what they have done get on my nerves. Deep down in me I knew what we have done are much more than them, but I am too tired to explain everything; it is just way too much when I want to get the story start.

Sharing joys to others was a kind of happiness, but when it goes over the line, things will just turn out bad. Know where is the limit, because there is always a boundary between people.  At the end of the day, you will choose to keep everything to yourself, because when it starts to flow to others people's mouth, the story will alter a bit, anyway how. Not being selfish this time but to save us the hustle, the energy used up for the unnecessary competitions and arguments. You know the best where you are standing, have faith in yourself and not depending your life on their words, it is all bullshit, defining yourself by your own word and write a good story out of that.

Second.

Submitted my design portfolio, technology and environment assignment and writing portfolio last Friday which symbolised the freedom for an architecture student who has been trapped in the studio for the last nine months. I saw the shadow of home, again.

The second year was not a tough one for me; but I have learnt a lot frankly, from my peers, and the tutors. I have been falling down and stood up beautifully, have been lost confidence to myself and then gain it back slowly, have been wonder about am I excellent enough to handle this, have been judging myself if I am hardworking enough to be an architecture student. A lot of things float on the surface and I knew myself more from there. Obstacles along the way cheer me up to be a better one, the grades which never reached my expectation pushed me to put more efforts in what I was doing.

I love the vibrant of the class because everyone was in a good position and create a positive competition among us. The range of creativity found within us have encouraged me to think out of the box more frequently, compare to when I am studying in the first year or back home. I shall say I think more like a westerner now, more critical thinking happening in the brain and more opinions on others' works. It was a great improvement though.

The ending of the second year continues with the four months of summer break. Full of plans. Internship, voluntary works, catching up with friends, have a great dinner with family...and some time for myself. Lecturer wants us to read more, sketch more and think more to prepare ourselves for the third year. Wow, the third year sounds scary for me, it might be a comma for my study life; I want it to be an outstanding one.

Still remember September 2015, I was still so new to the studio and lost myself in the architecture terms. And now, I manage to function Rhinoceros (a design software) pretty well and understand what is the meaning of massing study and facade. Cheers to the second year and I am on my way to prepare myself to graduate with a first.

Studio Portfolio (Stair and AirBnB design)

Technology and Environment assignment 

(comparing Lyric theatre Belfast and Queen's Film Theatre Belfast)

signed off, 

second-year Michelle. 

In your twenties

From the previous post, I have mentioned I am heading to a backpack solo trip to Netherland and Germany. And, yes, I have survived that and returned to the UK with tons of memories and life worth experience. There're pros and cons for a girl to travel alone. Nonetheless, the benefits will definitely overweight the shortcomings. I met a lot of people who help me along my way, who thank you weren't enough to show my gratitude towards them.

I will point out a few great things about having solo traveling when you are in your twenties.

Your body condition was at its peak point.  You own the biggest asset of travel, your legs, and eyes. Fully utilise them when they are still able to. Don't complain about how far you are going to travel by foot throughout the day; in return, you will appreciate every step that you have gone through to the amazing sceneries. The process was the one which celebrates the joy at the end of the day. Keep taking photos with your camera was a way of remembering the journey, but don't forget to witness the breath-taking view with your own eyes, which is priceless. Camera capture the moments mechanically, eyes capture them emotionally. So, take good care of your body, because it will be the only things that accompany you for these few decades. 

You are still in the stage to explore. Like a baby, you are still new to the society. You are interested in everything that you see, you want to explore it, give it a go. "Those moments you regret is those which you never try." With an acceptable range, go and try out things, get out of your box. If you never go to a pub before this, put on your party dress and have a hang out with your friends, take a sip of the cocktail, and dance with the rhythm of the music. Don't be afraid to blend yourself in the atmosphere. When you are traveling, it is the best time to understand the culture of a city. Thus, why no to just step forward to have a small chat with the locals. Believe me, they are happy to share with you their city. I met a dutch lady when I am traveling in Amsterdam, I requested her to take a photo of mine with the canal. She was with her bike. Of course, she offered me to take a photo with the canal and her bike and tell me the story of the trees along the canal. Then give me some travel tips.We have a ten minutes chat and then she left to her home. Traveling alone, you need a little bit of courageous.

You still have the time to do so. My parents portrait a typical working life, they have shown me how hard to achieve the position that they are standing now. The time and dedication they spend towards working were far from what I can imagine. Mum always told me, "go to have a look at the world when you have the time, I (mum) do not even have time to go to the cafe nearby and enjoy a carefree afternoon tea." "Those who do not travel read only a page of the book." Time -  the biggest enemy for everyone, it will never stop tickling because you are slowing down.

You already have the skills to survive. Believe that god has already implanted something in you. It was an infinite thing and waiting for you to explore it. Knowledge of technology will be extremely helpful and I have assumed the younger generation definitely familiar with the technology, even the basic one will help. Applications like Travel Sygic, Google Trip, Google Map, you name it, were something easy enough to access and get a hand on it.  What you need to do is to do some researches before you go, or even just get a map when you arrive at the destination and go intuitively. "Hi, hello, can you help me, thank you" were the universal words which yet a non-english speaker will understand you.  If things get worst, sign language will positively work as well.

Therefore, there is no reason for you not to go on a solo trip, even once in the lifetime is great enough. Don't say those who travel are rich, they just choose to spend their money on travel instead of buying an LV bag. They might simply choose to use up they entire saving to exchange with a chance to step into their dreamland. Everyone's meaning of life is different, define yours wisely from today, and ultimately, write an eye-catching definition to the world when they day you leave.

At least, I have ticked off an important point in my bucket list - to travel alone in Europe for a week in my twenties.