humble experience

Who will ever think of the scenario of their first internship? Internship for me was a very important learning curve. Most of the people agreed that intern job scope was just to help out in trivial things when the stuff needed a hand, but not to handle certain tasks by himself.  Intern also seldom get paid; they proclaimed you as a professional unpaid worker. I was told by my friends not to have my internship in my own country as they know the "market" of an intern in Malaysia. Also why not to get a chance to have an internship in the UK when I have already studied there? Those questions appear in my mind more than once when I decided to look for an internship back home. I knew in between UK and Malaysia internship, I will definitely go back to where I belong if there's a chance.

Therefore, I ended up in a Malaysia architecture firm called ZLG. (Try to google it to find some down to earth architectures.) It never dissapoint me and have totally changed my impression towards internship in Malaysia ( or maybe I am just the lucky one to be in a great company?)  

To everyone I have encountered throughout this couple of months, thank you. 

I have never imagined how an open office looks like, besides the Apple office that I have come across online. ZLG was a great example of how an open office works. It was a small firm, less than 10 employers. Nothing sad about that when you get to communicate with each of your colleagues every day, having lunch with together, having a group meeting which might include everyone in the office. No hierarchy, director may be sitting side by side with you and discussing the smallest detail of the project and guiding you how to proceed; clearly portraiting a role of a leader. I am a girl who afraid of troubling people, but they were so friendly in the way that I will never afraid to consult them when I don't understand certain things. It might be a very easy thing for them, but for me, it was a key to the entire new world and I am grateful for them in helping me to slowly unlocking the tasks. 

The learning curve was intense, never reached a plateau.

I come into the office hoping I can learn something to improve my project and architecture career. And yes, I earned them, humbly. The learning curve was intense, never reached a plateau. Learning how to use AutoCAD in a faster way, how to utilise Sketchup in a good way, how to organise things, how a project borns from zero to a whole structure standing on earth, how to communicate with each other and how an office protocol works. I bet I will still a naive architecture student sitting in the studio doing line drawings and some fake renders if I never immerse myself in the real working atmosphere before graduating. However, I am extremely thankful for directors and colleagues in consistently believing in my ability and giving me tasks, architecture related tasks. I am blessed for what ZLG has implanted in me, everything. 

As long as you are working hard, God will do something for you. 

I am just an intern, and I have felt how intense this career will be, especially when there's deadline (deadline means a date to propose the project to the client in return to earn some money from them) I have no reason to complain about how dreadful it is, because there is sense of accomplishment every day when I go back from the office. Maybe I am still a freshman in the field. But this was the main reason why I choose to study architecture after undertaking a science stream syllabus for my entire study life before university: architecture provides flexibility. What colleagues have portrayed to me was not the tough part of the job but how successful they are in overcoming each of the dilemmas. Everything will get its way out when the time comes, provided you work for it. 

Working 9-6 was just a line on the official contract, they basically work 24/7. Emails from clients, contractors, directors, colleagues hit you every second. Never ending fixing of the AutoCAD drawing until the last tile lays on the building. Making hundred of phone calls chasing for a drawing from engineers, looking for a sample material...

my internship team was cooler than yours. 

"Though summer 2017 was not spent at the beach or the jungle, 

eating good foods, taking nice pictures, I earned this in return. 

Two months wasn't long for an internship but the experiences I gained were precious and priceless. From the first day of being so awkwardly sitting in the office until I get to fit in so well, luckily it never takes long. Thank you for offering me such a great first working experience, treating me like a real architect; 

I am blessed. 

Thank you ZLG fam; Huat, Su, Kamen, Lily, Megan, Brylle, Yizhi, Viktor, Carlos. You guys have been amazing. Thanks for keeping the door opens for me, I'll be back, hopefully. 

30.8.17, signing off, Michelle."

For yourself, to yourself

Giving you an example here, being raised in an Asian family, it is annoying to go back to a family gathering sometimes because there are always these few relatives who are being so 'kiasu' (always waiting to fight for first), asking around about your results and how you perform in school if they have children who are still studying or have people already found an excellent partner if they are in their adulthood and it is the time to set into another phase of life. It is annoying, isn't it? I doubt if this happens in the west, or where is this culture coming from and stays in the bone of all the Asian aunties (we call everyone else on the street aunty and uncle).

I have a lovely family from my mother side who we always keep in touch with, who I will automatically update them about my daily life and milestones. I feel that they really care about me. Moreover, things get a bit different for the father side. We seldom get in touch with each other and therefore the bond between us are weak, weak enough for me not to have a chat with them till the day I go back to their house and still do not know how to roll on a conversation. There are always awkward moments. They are very selfish in my eyes. Especially when coming to their children's result, very 'kiasu' of them. I knew where I stand and I know I have achieved some things which make my parents proud enough to announce it in front of them, nonetheless, I will just keep quiet when they proudly showing off to me how good their children are in school, which always seems to be normal for me. I am not being arrogant but what they have done get on my nerves. Deep down in me I knew what we have done are much more than them, but I am too tired to explain everything; it is just way too much when I want to get the story start.

Sharing joys to others was a kind of happiness, but when it goes over the line, things will just turn out bad. Know where is the limit, because there is always a boundary between people.  At the end of the day, you will choose to keep everything to yourself, because when it starts to flow to others people's mouth, the story will alter a bit, anyway how. Not being selfish this time but to save us the hustle, the energy used up for the unnecessary competitions and arguments. You know the best where you are standing, have faith in yourself and not depending your life on their words, it is all bullshit, defining yourself by your own word and write a good story out of that.

Second.

Submitted my design portfolio, technology and environment assignment and writing portfolio last Friday which symbolised the freedom for an architecture student who has been trapped in the studio for the last nine months. I saw the shadow of home, again.

The second year was not a tough one for me; but I have learnt a lot frankly, from my peers, and the tutors. I have been falling down and stood up beautifully, have been lost confidence to myself and then gain it back slowly, have been wonder about am I excellent enough to handle this, have been judging myself if I am hardworking enough to be an architecture student. A lot of things float on the surface and I knew myself more from there. Obstacles along the way cheer me up to be a better one, the grades which never reached my expectation pushed me to put more efforts in what I was doing.

I love the vibrant of the class because everyone was in a good position and create a positive competition among us. The range of creativity found within us have encouraged me to think out of the box more frequently, compare to when I am studying in the first year or back home. I shall say I think more like a westerner now, more critical thinking happening in the brain and more opinions on others' works. It was a great improvement though.

The ending of the second year continues with the four months of summer break. Full of plans. Internship, voluntary works, catching up with friends, have a great dinner with family...and some time for myself. Lecturer wants us to read more, sketch more and think more to prepare ourselves for the third year. Wow, the third year sounds scary for me, it might be a comma for my study life; I want it to be an outstanding one.

Still remember September 2015, I was still so new to the studio and lost myself in the architecture terms. And now, I manage to function Rhinoceros (a design software) pretty well and understand what is the meaning of massing study and facade. Cheers to the second year and I am on my way to prepare myself to graduate with a first.

Studio Portfolio (Stair and AirBnB design)

Technology and Environment assignment 

(comparing Lyric theatre Belfast and Queen's Film Theatre Belfast)

signed off, 

second-year Michelle. 

In your twenties

From the previous post, I have mentioned I am heading to a backpack solo trip to Netherland and Germany. And, yes, I have survived that and returned to the UK with tons of memories and life worth experience. There're pros and cons for a girl to travel alone. Nonetheless, the benefits will definitely overweight the shortcomings. I met a lot of people who help me along my way, who thank you weren't enough to show my gratitude towards them.

I will point out a few great things about having solo traveling when you are in your twenties.

Your body condition was at its peak point.  You own the biggest asset of travel, your legs, and eyes. Fully utilise them when they are still able to. Don't complain about how far you are going to travel by foot throughout the day; in return, you will appreciate every step that you have gone through to the amazing sceneries. The process was the one which celebrates the joy at the end of the day. Keep taking photos with your camera was a way of remembering the journey, but don't forget to witness the breath-taking view with your own eyes, which is priceless. Camera capture the moments mechanically, eyes capture them emotionally. So, take good care of your body, because it will be the only things that accompany you for these few decades. 

You are still in the stage to explore. Like a baby, you are still new to the society. You are interested in everything that you see, you want to explore it, give it a go. "Those moments you regret is those which you never try." With an acceptable range, go and try out things, get out of your box. If you never go to a pub before this, put on your party dress and have a hang out with your friends, take a sip of the cocktail, and dance with the rhythm of the music. Don't be afraid to blend yourself in the atmosphere. When you are traveling, it is the best time to understand the culture of a city. Thus, why no to just step forward to have a small chat with the locals. Believe me, they are happy to share with you their city. I met a dutch lady when I am traveling in Amsterdam, I requested her to take a photo of mine with the canal. She was with her bike. Of course, she offered me to take a photo with the canal and her bike and tell me the story of the trees along the canal. Then give me some travel tips.We have a ten minutes chat and then she left to her home. Traveling alone, you need a little bit of courageous.

You still have the time to do so. My parents portrait a typical working life, they have shown me how hard to achieve the position that they are standing now. The time and dedication they spend towards working were far from what I can imagine. Mum always told me, "go to have a look at the world when you have the time, I (mum) do not even have time to go to the cafe nearby and enjoy a carefree afternoon tea." "Those who do not travel read only a page of the book." Time -  the biggest enemy for everyone, it will never stop tickling because you are slowing down.

You already have the skills to survive. Believe that god has already implanted something in you. It was an infinite thing and waiting for you to explore it. Knowledge of technology will be extremely helpful and I have assumed the younger generation definitely familiar with the technology, even the basic one will help. Applications like Travel Sygic, Google Trip, Google Map, you name it, were something easy enough to access and get a hand on it.  What you need to do is to do some researches before you go, or even just get a map when you arrive at the destination and go intuitively. "Hi, hello, can you help me, thank you" were the universal words which yet a non-english speaker will understand you.  If things get worst, sign language will positively work as well.

Therefore, there is no reason for you not to go on a solo trip, even once in the lifetime is great enough. Don't say those who travel are rich, they just choose to spend their money on travel instead of buying an LV bag. They might simply choose to use up they entire saving to exchange with a chance to step into their dreamland. Everyone's meaning of life is different, define yours wisely from today, and ultimately, write an eye-catching definition to the world when they day you leave.

At least, I have ticked off an important point in my bucket list - to travel alone in Europe for a week in my twenties.

To experience, to explore

For you who are also studying or working aboard. 


"It supposed to be hard because by that no one can replicate it." A quote that I noted down from a short video from facebook.

It has been a while since I last update myself. I am back to the UK to continue my year 2 study and it is almost an end with the finish of my semester 2 project. Just to rant a little here, I doubt myself a lot sometime, I lost confidence in myself, I wonder the hard work that I have done; will it gets payback? Anyway, I believe that God had arranged everything and will give us the chance if you tried, maybe not now, but someday.

Done with the updating part. Let's talk about the courage to explore life today. I have bought a flight ticket to Amsterdam and Cologne, departing next week - a backpack solo trip. I will say this is hard for me because backpacking in Europe countries alone is not that safe after all. There were plenty of bad news that bombarding the social media nowadays. Nonetheless, it never kills my intention to go out and explore the world, by myself. Always wanting to cross the "solo backpack trip" in my to-do-list and I knew that the 20-year old me can already do that. Parents are worried about this so much as they keep telling me to find a partner for the trip, but daddy mummy, I just want to go all out alone to know how far I can go without the help of others, to experience the feeling that I have not got a chance to do so, to have a stroll with my soul. I am good to go now, from booking a hostel to planning the schedules of the trips; I have done enough of preparation and ready to grab my backpack and have a try with it. A lot of my friends are telling me it is not a good choice to travel in the city of drugs, sex and bicycle. But I will then update them with the wonderful experience and people I meet there after next week.

Nothing to worry, let me go. I may seem to be like a girl who cannot take care of myself when I am around you, but you never know what I have done throughout this two years for me to survive in this country which is a totally new place for me at first. The courage and faith that God have implanted in me are infinite. Even I need to explore and fully utilise them, how can you judge me then?

"A person who never travel only read one page." A very classic quote that I have been holding on. In each of the trips, I learnt a lot, communicating with my travel companions, asking for help with the locals, bookings for good accommodation deals, reading a map......a lot a lot, which you may not have the chance to experience if you are still staying in your comfort zone. My mum always tells me, go if you still have the chance to do so. I am thankful for my parents, who are always in the same boat with me no matter what I did, where I go, and with their supports, I can go even further.

Two years in the UK, travelling around seven cities, and the eighth solo trip coming soon. The excitement in me is flooding up the fear. I have to say that I have so used to doing things alone when I start studying aboard. It is not the matter of how many friends I have here, it just can't come to a deal after all, and what I need to do is to go ahead by myself, because my idea is too difficult for them to handle sometime, or is just me.

Anyway, do it when you are still able to. Because after all, it is all for the pride of yourself. Don't let regrets hit you hard later on, twenty-year-old can be a fantasy age which everything is still unsure and you can still give it a try and fail.

Michelle.

Dearest best friend

Hello Liew Lee Mei,


It has been a long time since I last update my blog and this is a post that I suppose to write when the time we last meet up.

Still remember it's 22 September 2016. It's 2017 now. You are officially 21.

The memories still so clear in my mind, all the things that we did together during that Thursday, from the minute you reach my house till the second you drove away from my gate. I hope time will just stop at there and doubt why God want to arrange two people from such a far place to intersect together and become the good friend at the end. Thanks for coming all the way from KL to here although you know that your mum will be angry when the time she knew you drove so far. Thanks for accompanying me to the place I like the most back to hometown before the day I go back to the UK. Thanks for bearing with me when I drove into the wrong path to the beach although I drove to the place up to thousands time, but we have lots of fun on the car right? Actually, I cherish the time so much because we rarely own the time to sit down like this and have a great chat about how are we doing now. Thanks for going to the restaurant I love the most. Thanks for everything happening on that day. You know what I meant. Please, come here again if you have the time and the day when your mum allows you to drive this far. I am looking for more of our adventures no matter in Malaysia or all over to UK or Europe. I am always ready to go to the world with you because I knew at the end, you will still be by my side. 謝謝你好朋友， 希望很快就能見到你。


6th January 2017.

You were turning 21 and again I did not have a chance to celebrate with you. Haha but the WhatsApp call consider one? I have a shock when all of your friends actually knew who I am when the time I call you. And then I knew how important I am. (awhh) I don't actually help you to celebrate your birthday before beside the one when you are 19. Hopefully, your friends have given you a memorable birthday! Sincerely hope that I can invite you to my 21 birthday this year and you will be there.  Happy 21th once again, liew lee mei. Thanks your mum for bringing you to this world and then become my best friend.

See you real soon?


Michelle.