Do you realize that you are already 20 years old this year? Do you even realise when you have stepped into another zone? The zone where filled with booms and you might get trap just after you step out.
Growing up, meaning that responsibility that placed on your shoulder become heavier. It does mean that you only need to responsible for your own meal, what time you shall go to bath, or what time you shall hang out with you friends. It is about your responsibility for your own future, even family. Now, it's time to really sit down and think about what can you do for your future so that you will not regret on that day when you look back or when you want to tell your little boy about your youth. It means that you shall now solve more life trouble by yourself, learning not to count on parents so much, although they're always there for you. But did you feel that it's enough for them to worry about us and enjoy what they suppose to have for now?
Eh, Michelle, I think it's time to find a part-time job to earn some pounds, a good intern to gain some valuable experiences for your own future, read a good book that can change your mind and go for a solo travel so that you can know what's deep inside yourself. Right?
Thursday, 8 September 2016
Thursday, 11 August 2016
Good old day
How you define friend/best friend?
Little kids might tell you those who give them a sweet are their best friend. A primary school kid will claim those who stick together with them during the recess time as their best friend forever. A high school student might start to realize what true meaning of friendship is and start to develop the branches of the ship. They believe that whom who tell them all their secrets or spend most of their time with as their best friend. Yes, I will say a true friendship blossom at this moment, where you kind of know what the shape of the world is but you still in your own fairytale. This was the time when your friends know all your bad sides and still stay along side with you, this was the time when you spend most of your time having tuition classes and foods together with that gang of friends. Once you enter college, you start to realize how cruel this society meant to be and what was benefits all about. People start to approach you for different reasons, no longer only because they want to have a simple meal with you. You start to doubt what the word friend really meant about and started to miss the naive gang who you can contribute your laughter with.
I have a story to tell. I have this group of friends who stay aside with me from primary school to high school. Although there are some reasons that make us separate apart in between, we still manage to keep in touch until today. I am glad that I own this group of friends who I manage to sit down together and have a great dinner time with until now even though I have come back from Uk after a year and we didn't actually spend much time together. What I want to emphasis here was the invisible bond between us. We didn't stick together much after high school, we didn't reply to each other facebook picture this often. But I believe that we do stalk each other snapchat or Instagram a bit to update where are we know. I will not say that this is the perfect friendship that YOU guys shall look for, but I thank God for giving me this group of people in my life, who will come out to meet you if you call them, without a single reason but just to meet up.
Dear friends, we are now in the different field, different state, perhaps different country, persuading our own dream, but I hope that years after this, we still manage to come out and sit down in a roundtable, without anyone missing out, to tell our own story.
I never tell you guys how grateful I am to have you in my life, never even showcase a single photo of us in social media. Nevertheless, I am blessed, to have you guys as my friends, forever. Trust me, you guys are that group of people I will look back when I grow older. Those good old days will be the reason why we will still stick together after years, promise?
朋友，还是老的好
Little kids might tell you those who give them a sweet are their best friend. A primary school kid will claim those who stick together with them during the recess time as their best friend forever. A high school student might start to realize what true meaning of friendship is and start to develop the branches of the ship. They believe that whom who tell them all their secrets or spend most of their time with as their best friend. Yes, I will say a true friendship blossom at this moment, where you kind of know what the shape of the world is but you still in your own fairytale. This was the time when your friends know all your bad sides and still stay along side with you, this was the time when you spend most of your time having tuition classes and foods together with that gang of friends. Once you enter college, you start to realize how cruel this society meant to be and what was benefits all about. People start to approach you for different reasons, no longer only because they want to have a simple meal with you. You start to doubt what the word friend really meant about and started to miss the naive gang who you can contribute your laughter with.
I have a story to tell. I have this group of friends who stay aside with me from primary school to high school. Although there are some reasons that make us separate apart in between, we still manage to keep in touch until today. I am glad that I own this group of friends who I manage to sit down together and have a great dinner time with until now even though I have come back from Uk after a year and we didn't actually spend much time together. What I want to emphasis here was the invisible bond between us. We didn't stick together much after high school, we didn't reply to each other facebook picture this often. But I believe that we do stalk each other snapchat or Instagram a bit to update where are we know. I will not say that this is the perfect friendship that YOU guys shall look for, but I thank God for giving me this group of people in my life, who will come out to meet you if you call them, without a single reason but just to meet up.
Dear friends, we are now in the different field, different state, perhaps different country, persuading our own dream, but I hope that years after this, we still manage to come out and sit down in a roundtable, without anyone missing out, to tell our own story.
I never tell you guys how grateful I am to have you in my life, never even showcase a single photo of us in social media. Nevertheless, I am blessed, to have you guys as my friends, forever. Trust me, you guys are that group of people I will look back when I grow older. Those good old days will be the reason why we will still stick together after years, promise?
朋友，还是老的好
Saturday, 11 June 2016
another count down begin
" For all the tourists, welcome to Malaysia. For all the Malaysians, welcome home." The pilot of Malaysia Airline announced during the touchdown.
After all the hectic missing flight and overnight in the London Heathrow Airport experiences, I am back to the place I grew up yesterday. It had been nine months. Having a WhatsApp's call to daddy telling him I had touched down. Hearing daddy's voice coming out from the phone, it was so different from the skype call because this time I knew that I will see him in an hour time. Mummy and brothers were standing at the departure hall waiting for my arrival. I was thinking how to react to them in the first second when I saw them. None of the scenes in my mind happen, but my heart was flooding with tears.
The weather was 13-degree celsius hotter than in the UK. The clouds in the sky were ten times more than those in the UK. Although the air was a little more polluted, it is still the place I love after months. Failing to collect my luggage, it forced myself to approach the Malay officer to ask about that. Time to use the long lost Malay and I realize that it was extremely hard to even come out with a proper Malay sentence. Anyway, I am still proud of the fact that I was able to speak Malay after a long time. I used to tell my UK friends how proud am I to be a Malaysian who know more than three languages and can use them all in a sentence. Sweating all the way in the car in the journey back home, despite the air conditioning was at the maximum level. Looking out through the window, the scenery changed a little. But the atmosphere in the car was still the same, as heart-warming as before.
The ending of the "back home" countdown meant that another countdown began without me noticing, which is " back to UK".
After all the hectic missing flight and overnight in the London Heathrow Airport experiences, I am back to the place I grew up yesterday. It had been nine months. Having a WhatsApp's call to daddy telling him I had touched down. Hearing daddy's voice coming out from the phone, it was so different from the skype call because this time I knew that I will see him in an hour time. Mummy and brothers were standing at the departure hall waiting for my arrival. I was thinking how to react to them in the first second when I saw them. None of the scenes in my mind happen, but my heart was flooding with tears.
The weather was 13-degree celsius hotter than in the UK. The clouds in the sky were ten times more than those in the UK. Although the air was a little more polluted, it is still the place I love after months. Failing to collect my luggage, it forced myself to approach the Malay officer to ask about that. Time to use the long lost Malay and I realize that it was extremely hard to even come out with a proper Malay sentence. Anyway, I am still proud of the fact that I was able to speak Malay after a long time. I used to tell my UK friends how proud am I to be a Malaysian who know more than three languages and can use them all in a sentence. Sweating all the way in the car in the journey back home, despite the air conditioning was at the maximum level. Looking out through the window, the scenery changed a little. But the atmosphere in the car was still the same, as heart-warming as before.
The ending of the "back home" countdown meant that another countdown began without me noticing, which is " back to UK".
Tuesday, 31 May 2016
one day.
30th May 2016. One year before, we step out from the examination hall finish our last A-level paper, waiting for the realising of the result and head to the university that we longing for since the first day of college. One year after that, I am fully done with my year 1. Can't believe how fast time flies. It has been 9 months away from home, and 7 days to the day I can go home again. It is fast, I am packing my suitcase right now.
Just finish watching a Chinese movie, it was expectedly nice. Since when I start to stay up whole night watching Chinese movie? Recently. It has been a habit before sleeping. I don't know why, but the storyline tugs my heartstring every time when the movie end. [One Minute More], a Taiwan production starring Janine Chang and Peter Ho plus a golden retriever. Story buds with the adoption of a baby golden retriever and displaying the relationship between the main characters. The relationship between animal and human is delicate, too many people have adopted a pet and took it as part of the family member. There is an invisible string linking the pet and human, a string that will never break. Experiencing a breakdown while watching the movie when the golden retriever is at it edge of life and how it act towards the one who adopts it when someone abandon it at the pet shop.
Life was short. For a puppy, our one month is half a year for them. It reminds me of how much time which I still able to stay beside family and share all the important milestone with them. Too little time.
Just finish watching a Chinese movie, it was expectedly nice. Since when I start to stay up whole night watching Chinese movie? Recently. It has been a habit before sleeping. I don't know why, but the storyline tugs my heartstring every time when the movie end. [One Minute More], a Taiwan production starring Janine Chang and Peter Ho plus a golden retriever. Story buds with the adoption of a baby golden retriever and displaying the relationship between the main characters. The relationship between animal and human is delicate, too many people have adopted a pet and took it as part of the family member. There is an invisible string linking the pet and human, a string that will never break. Experiencing a breakdown while watching the movie when the golden retriever is at it edge of life and how it act towards the one who adopts it when someone abandon it at the pet shop.
Life was short. For a puppy, our one month is half a year for them. It reminds me of how much time which I still able to stay beside family and share all the important milestone with them. Too little time.
Friday, 13 May 2016
First stop, done
Thursday again, and it is final review for my last project in year one architecture. P4 live/work Belfast officially end.
I won't mention about how many sleepless nights I dedicated to this project, how many meals I have skipped just to get the things done, how stressful am I just to catch up with the time and the workload, because by far, I cope it well. Being thankful and blessed, I am enjoying what I have done so far and all of them are done in joy.
Every single word mentioned by tutor never get left behind my brain. From the first day I step into this school, I knew something amazing will happen, but I don't know that it would happen so fast. Year one, 9 months, from zero to what we have today, it was totally out of expectation. I thought that I won't have the ability to think out of the box, come out with some amazing shape and impressive building, but I think I am looking down at myself. With the consistent pushing by the tutor and all the incredible classmates' work, I think we all have grown up preparing ourselves to build something prestigious in this land. The journey was just at 1 mile out of 10 miles. There are definitely tonnes of obstacles in front of the road, but having faith in myself, it is possible to overcome all of the resistances and reach the victory at the end, making everyone who looks down at me to clap for me at the finishing line.
Nothing is impossible, what I have achieved today proved that. Done with my final review, with the confident I have in my own design, I owned a good feedback at the end.
Designing is not about having a perfect idea in one goal, but having several trials and learn in the process, and proudly said that "I did it".
Again, I am grateful, thanks to my parents who never fail to support me on my road to persuade my dream, which they knew that the road will be extremely hard for me. So far, I think I have yet proved to them that I am on the right path, right?
Year one, architecture, end.
sneak peek of my last project...
I won't mention about how many sleepless nights I dedicated to this project, how many meals I have skipped just to get the things done, how stressful am I just to catch up with the time and the workload, because by far, I cope it well. Being thankful and blessed, I am enjoying what I have done so far and all of them are done in joy.
Every single word mentioned by tutor never get left behind my brain. From the first day I step into this school, I knew something amazing will happen, but I don't know that it would happen so fast. Year one, 9 months, from zero to what we have today, it was totally out of expectation. I thought that I won't have the ability to think out of the box, come out with some amazing shape and impressive building, but I think I am looking down at myself. With the consistent pushing by the tutor and all the incredible classmates' work, I think we all have grown up preparing ourselves to build something prestigious in this land. The journey was just at 1 mile out of 10 miles. There are definitely tonnes of obstacles in front of the road, but having faith in myself, it is possible to overcome all of the resistances and reach the victory at the end, making everyone who looks down at me to clap for me at the finishing line.
Nothing is impossible, what I have achieved today proved that. Done with my final review, with the confident I have in my own design, I owned a good feedback at the end.
Designing is not about having a perfect idea in one goal, but having several trials and learn in the process, and proudly said that "I did it".
Again, I am grateful, thanks to my parents who never fail to support me on my road to persuade my dream, which they knew that the road will be extremely hard for me. So far, I think I have yet proved to them that I am on the right path, right?
Year one, architecture, end.
sneak peek of my last project...
_szeyeeM
Thursday, 5 May 2016
First stop.
Currently persuading year 1 architecture in Queen's University Belfast, still, one month to go . The course never happens to be what I have thought of a year ago. I remember how I prepare myself to learn tonnes of physics theories and mathematic calculations but it didn't happen to me.
Work. The word that summarised this course. What I did throughout the year was just self-learning. From learning how to draw a plan bare hand to how to use Sketchup. It is all about how much efforts you want to invest in yourself. Tutors will be there to back you up and call you to pull up your sock in the meantime but it is all depends on oneself. My ability to learn terrified me a lot nowadays. I never think that I can pick up Photoshop in one day and SketchUp just in a few hours and manage to use all the skill in my current project. I am a science stream student before this. Used to memorise all the scientific terms and formulas over the night, and now creativity struck in. I am not forced to memorise anything or do something I dislike besides the boring history class which I did learn a little bit from that. You can see a lot of picture in social medias regarding how architecture course torture somebody. Like this one:
To be honest, I haven't see the power of the picture at this stage. I scared off some of the time. People said you're learning when you feel stress. I haven't really feel stress out in this course yet enjoying it much. Am I facing a problem in some way? I can still tell you that I manage to sleep 8 hours a day and cope will with my project when my friends are struggling to meet the submission deadline. Not bragging myself, but what I want to emphasise here is about time management. Having a good hold of it will let you enjoying what you are doing while having a balanced lifestyle. Do not complain how little time you are given but try your best to get things done in the time frame. Everybody is given 24 hours 7 days a week.
Thursday tomorrow and it's presentation day! Never getting stressed up for the presentation but always looking forward to it. I am not well prepared for any presentation but at least I have did my best and prepare myself to learn something from it. That's why presentation turns up fun?
Here's some of my current project presentation photo to wrap up!
_szeyeeM
Thursday, 28 April 2016
Dot on Black
Did you ever experience a huge wave in your life? The wave which really hit you and make you sink under the ocean. Might not hit you to the seabed, but it is enough to let your heart hang in the air no matter how. Like a tremendous stone which is stressing you, till the time when you can't breathe.
We must admit that, if there's a white dot on a black background, one will first realize how the white dot look like, is it with a well-defined edge or a blur one. In one time, can anyone just stop looking at the white dot and realize how clear the black background is? Hypothetically. Same in life, no one will ever be perfect in this world, expect God, but why people tend to enlarge the dark side of a person but not cherish the good side of him/her. Giving a chance to other, one day you may need to have that only chance too. Again, no one is perfect. Even diamond is shining attractively because of it edges. How hard to forgive a person? It is not hard, ever. Remember when we are still a little kid, we forgive our friend because he/she said sorry to you or give you a hug. Why things change when we grow up. It shall not.
I always feel thankful and grateful for everything that happening in my life. Because all of that happen for a reason, for me to learn something. Even a bad one. Telling myself that God gives me every task for me to grow up, to be a better one, to have an experience of everything. But what happens to me last week takes my heart away. I barely do my work, my life is out of the routine. It teaches me a lot, I promise. I pray to God every night before sleep hope that he can hear my prayer. I am a human who hopes my life will be a nice game without any penalties, will be a clean black paper without any impurities on it. But it is impossible. With the impurities or debris only, it shows how crystal clear the water is, providing it is just a little bit of it.
I pray to God so that everything will turn good soon, sunny day will come and the rain will stop. Rainbow appears and the birds chirp.
_szeyeeM
We must admit that, if there's a white dot on a black background, one will first realize how the white dot look like, is it with a well-defined edge or a blur one. In one time, can anyone just stop looking at the white dot and realize how clear the black background is? Hypothetically. Same in life, no one will ever be perfect in this world, expect God, but why people tend to enlarge the dark side of a person but not cherish the good side of him/her. Giving a chance to other, one day you may need to have that only chance too. Again, no one is perfect. Even diamond is shining attractively because of it edges. How hard to forgive a person? It is not hard, ever. Remember when we are still a little kid, we forgive our friend because he/she said sorry to you or give you a hug. Why things change when we grow up. It shall not.
I always feel thankful and grateful for everything that happening in my life. Because all of that happen for a reason, for me to learn something. Even a bad one. Telling myself that God gives me every task for me to grow up, to be a better one, to have an experience of everything. But what happens to me last week takes my heart away. I barely do my work, my life is out of the routine. It teaches me a lot, I promise. I pray to God every night before sleep hope that he can hear my prayer. I am a human who hopes my life will be a nice game without any penalties, will be a clean black paper without any impurities on it. But it is impossible. With the impurities or debris only, it shows how crystal clear the water is, providing it is just a little bit of it.
I pray to God so that everything will turn good soon, sunny day will come and the rain will stop. Rainbow appears and the birds chirp.
_szeyeeM
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