Walking on the way to university with earphone plug in, the music seem to bring up all my emotion, every words are describing my exact feeling now. Before coming here, I always imagine myself sitting at the study table oversea somewhere in UK, looking out the breathtaking scenery and doing my art works. Nothing seem to be as good as hometown now. Although I living in my dream, the characters are not the same anymore.
The weather out there will not shot to 20 degree, strong wind that will nearly blow people away hit on me, rain drop on my coat horizontally, lip start to crack,wearing a heat tech and extra clothes, mucus flowing uncontrollably, coughing unstoppable, eating the same food over and over again because those are the only menu that I know and hands need to be defrosted everyday when I step in my room. Nostalgia, I missed the little thing back home. Everything that were super normal to do in home is so unusual here. Craving for the food I will never think of eating back then. Kept on telling myself that, hold on, you will have all of them next summer, which is 8 months later.
8am is 12am, 12pm is 8pm. One month past, Skype with parents almost everyday from the start and later on twice a week. There's so many things I couldn't make them in word and express to family via the screen but I knew they can feel it. Tears rolling in my eyes but I force to hold it. Remember one day when no longer can hold it and it flows down across my cheeks. I don't know how my parent can see that even through the computer screen. " Been wronged?" I can't pronounce my feeling in words, hanging off the call is the only thing I did on that time. Nothing, I just miss home and family too much.
Now, I am living in my dream, doing what I like daily. Drawing pencils, artline pens, colour, measuring tape... have become major part of my life now. From the anxiousness in the first presentation until now I can stand up and present my works without hesitation and nervousness. I knew I am on the right track. Trying hard to maintain myself on the top, because I want to prove that what I choose is right and I will shine on it. Receiving good words from peers and lecturers again proving my ability. I am not arrogant, I am worried that I do good in the first step and then ruin the step after. Uttering to myself that I am not good enough so that I can keep on the performance.
To those who also fighting alone half earth over home, kept on the action, because there're so many people back home waiting you to go back with victory. They have consistently giving the supports and what we need to do is live this life nicely as a return. Good luck peers!
_szeyeeM
